Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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