I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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