You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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