We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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