Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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