Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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