I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
