If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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