He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
