Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
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Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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