Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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