Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
