I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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