Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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