Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
