I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
