When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
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