Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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