grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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