Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
