You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
