and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize