he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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