my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
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