How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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