Sponge bath it is.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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