you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
