you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
His nipple licking is glorious
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