Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
