If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I love having hate sex.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
