Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
