there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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