Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
