Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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