you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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