He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize