I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize