I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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