she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
