Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
