Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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