dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I think a kid would responsible me up
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
