Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize