Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
