It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Congratulations! We have a period
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