trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i will never coherently bang her
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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