Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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