best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
