i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
