i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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