well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
