hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
