it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
