So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
