Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"

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(607): View more from New York

he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him

(313): View more from Michigan

at least he gets points for a creative booty call

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster

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(720): View more from Colorado

I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!

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(812): View more from Indiana

I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.

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(714): View more from California

you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.

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