i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
