he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
