I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You've changed since you got that strap on
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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