I didn't shave. On purpose
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
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We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
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what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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