I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
