I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
