you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
