I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
