We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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