Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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