i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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