u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
