i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
